These categories were named in honor of some of the most embarrassing moments in entertainment,sports, and politics over the course of 2008. The nominees were voted on by my colleagues,some of them you may know. With that said,let’s get right to it and present the 1st award:
The “BOB AND WEAVE AWARD” GOES TO:
GEORGE W BUSH-for his swift reflexes when faced with a round of shoes lol,this muhfuka must have experience in this department,he probably dodged alota shoes in his time,and in his prime,but I only wish that all the reporters would have participated and and got at his ass in a hail of shoes lol.
The “MY NECK,MY BACK AWARD” GOES TO:
YUNG BERG-for his inability to stop cats from snatching his chains,and wanting to break his back. I only wish that I was the local chiropractor in his hood lol.
The “GET DA FUCK OUTA HERE AWARD” GOES TO:
T-PAIN-for him saying that other artists that used auto-tune should pay him for using it. This isda kinda shit that’ll bring outda D-Bo in me,but knowing what I know,THe city of Tallahassee is all in his pockets so there’s no place for me in that situation.
The “DAMN HOMEY!!!!!/FOUND OUT YOU WERE DA MAN HOMEY AWARD” GOES TO
RICK ROSS-for him denying he was a corrections officer,only to be exposed by way of his W-2 form. Homey I was personally disappointed in you,because for one I like your music,and 2nd you did not have to deny that. Corrections officers are some of the most corrupt individuals in the law and order commission,so you had an opportunity to bring a different angle to the game,but you felt like public perception was more important than what was real to you,and now your credibility is shot.
The “BITCHASSNESS AWARD” GOES TO:
(Now I voted for a guy whose name rhymes with pretty,but this one was unanimous)
YOUNG BUCK-for him playing himself by going in on his team,only to be recorded in a phone conversation with 50 Cent,saying how he was “SO-CONFUSED”,and literally crying over the phone about his situation,and 50 Cent returns the favor by publicizing his conversation on his website. Ouch,that shit should hurt for a lifetime lol.
The “FUCK YOU/PAY ME” AWARD GOES TO:
STEPHON MARBURY-for playing his cards right,and making the New York Knicks pay him in full for trying to destroy his ability to play in the last year of his contract. James Dolan (Knick owner),whose looking like a dick now!!!!!!! You must of forgot that he gets paid whether he play or not,and he’s paid to the tune of 250k a game.
The “OH NO YOU DIDN’T” AWARD GOES TO NONE OTHER THAN:
PLAXICO BURRESS-for doing da dumbest shit a brother could do. You shooting yourself when your weren’t even pulling it out,proves that you’re not built for this “gangsta. This one is personal because I’m a New York Giants fan, and you put our great season,and chance to repeat as champs in jeopardy. You need yo ass whupped for that alone chief.
The “YOU GOT SERVED” AWARD GOES TO:
O.J. SIMPSON-for him being stupid enough to do what he’s been doing since he was acquitted of double murder. Yo ass should of ran to the nearest airport like it was a Hertz commercial,moved to Brazil,did Girls Gone Wild,and you would have really pissed off white America lol. No,you stayed and Ron Goldman’s pops set yo dumbass up,and now you got served,good for yo ass, you should have never left the black community lol.
The “JUST MAKE A HIT” AWARD GOES TO:
MAX B-for his barrage of cyber thuggery on Jim Jones,saying he was responsible for alot of Jim Jones’ hits. That may be true,but ifya made them for him,you can make them for yourself son. Cyber thuggery on websites is cool,but when it’s dragged out over time,the bitter nigga factor begins to take place,and you will fall under the same umbrella as Dehaven,Calvin Klein,Shawty Lo,and everyone else who decides to go after a big name inda game,but I gotta admit,some of those videos are funny as hell. People love getting high and watching shit like dat lol. But if you just make a hit,all that becomes water under the bridge.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST IS THE WORST AWARD ONE CAN ACHEIVE!!!!!!!
The “DICK RIDER OF THE YEAR” AWARD GOES TO: (DRUMROLL PLEASE)
After voting numerous times,we couldn’t mutually agree on one candidate,but we all agreed that:
DICK RIDING SHOULD BE BANNED FOREVER!!!!!!! If you are not clear on what dick riding is,let me bring clarity to the issue
1. If you can’t do an interview without taking up for a stable-mate,label-mate,executive producer,or anyone else whose instrumental in giving you an opportunity in entertainment or other-wise.
2. Any unnecessary entourage activity like:
a) bigging up the artist just to get camera time,or in the hopes of him putting you on.
b) any activity done without the consent of the artist or individual.
3. Anyone who get into beef about an artist that he or she doesn’t know personally.
In conclusion,I’d like to say that we very often hammer people for being haters,but we never do the same to dick riders,and I think it’s unfair to the haters so akeemshabazz.com will be holding a “NO DICK RIDING IN 09 OR EVER” CAMPAIGN,so lookout for the “NO DICK RIDING IN 09 OR EVER” t-shirts to come to a market near you REAL SOON!!!!!!!!!!
Thank You for logging in to read the 2008 “On-Blast Awards. As always your comments are SO IMPORTANT to me. Log in soon to hear who the nominees were lol.