PLIGHT OF BEING......"BOSS"

[MIC HANDLER]

For the last 10 to 12 years i have played alot of roles, I have been Father, Husband (in its own sense of the term.. all the same duties...non of the cool tax breaks) Artist, Actor, Model, Recording Artist, Producer, Designer, Graphic Designer, Studio Manager, Consultant, Brand Manager, Marketing Director, Broker, Student, Teacher, Business Partner, Managing Partner, Owner, Co-Owner, CEO, CO-CEO, Friend, Enemy, Lover, Womanizer, Counselor and that's just to name a few.

After all the titles i have held ..all the crosses i have had to bare...all the successes and failures wins and losses. Love and Heart Break.. The Heaviest Weight, steepest hill and widest ocean to cross has by far been that of BOSS... Have you ever felt like you exist in a prison of your own making? a cousin of mine Marcus Arelius used that very same analogy in a conversation we had a few weeks back and it absolutely articulated exactly what i have been feeling and carrying with me for the last year or so. Now, please do not misunderstand me..I love who I am.. and I love what i do.. and I'm aware of why i do what i do and for those of you that have had the pleasure of getting tangled in my existence I understand that yes, it is of my own doing... But Why?... In an effort to understand that very question it dawned on me that I am not comfortable succeeding alone, nor am I comfortable having alone. I have been around this globe and I have cross this country countless times in my very young life.. and every single time I have took off and landed ALONE yes i have done it with business associates and co-workers but never with the people I dreamed of doing it with...You know, those people you used to sit with and say things like: "Imagine if when we grow up we could be doing this same thing...but, like in Miami or something". ..or maybe something like " Yo kid, When i get this music thing jumping, we gon be killing em, the parties the tours the groupies the shows...we gonna be at the awards...like thisssssss"...remember those people from those convos?...I haven't been anywhere with any of them... not one... and not because i haven't asked.. So i guess i say all of that to say that.. i guess i take the stress and bare the burden of being a BOSS of my own destiny from now on so that i can hand pick and create the family around me that share the same dreams i do and believe in me more then most and trust my judgment and personality and believe that together we can cross this country and circle this globe and create a living doing what we love. and appreciate and understand the sleepless nights, and frustrated loves, and children that look at me with more understanding than any child should be asked to have...just so i can prove that i wasn't crazy that it wasn't just a dream that i can establish a handler legacy the same way that Paris Hilton's family did...The rewards are beyond awesome the accolades are more then flattering, but I will be honest the hurt, pain and life that gets lost in the pursuit is priceless and at this point Ive learned that but I'm to far gone to turn back now...so i have to complete the journey just to justify all that I have lost ..and what the people that love and have tried to love me along the way have sacrificed....heavy is the head that bares the crown....But Heavier is the head that owns it